Wednesday January 17, 2018
Part of the weight loss journey sometimes require you to cross the bridge of negative significant others. I would like to share my personal experience and hope it may inspire you.
I remember spending all day cooking a semi healthy meal (I was still learning) just to have my ex come home and want to go to taco bell with the last dollar we had in the bank. He over drafted our account 25 bucks on 10 bucks worth of burrito supremes and gorditias. Whenever he would deploy, I would loose 10-20 lbs in my own. I would gain in all back in 3-4 months. Part of me feels that he did it in purpose. Thinking I would stay with his verbal and emotional cheating butt if I was a fluffy gurl.
That is wrong!!! Don't ever think you are stuck in your current situation because of not having a choice. Even if you have a great relationship and he loves every inch of you..... You have the right to be healthy.
First off is telling him no by saying yes. If he says he is going to taco bell say ok babe I'll be here when you get back or sure hon just after I eat my dinner (then go and sit while they eat). It will be hard at first and take a lot of self control, but you can do this. It took years to get fluffy it will take years to take it off and keep it off. And that starts today. Be as constant as you can. Eventually he will fit into your new lifestyle and hopefully jump on board.
Be prepared to follow thru. If he gets pushy or controlling (and is a cheater who emotionally abuses you) and want to keep you down, you have the right to leave. Some guys get insecure when their gurls start to look good. If you or him give each other an ultimatum to breakup be prepared for either answer and make sure you follow thru on your side. He will have no respect for you if he knows he can crawl back due to you not following thru. After my divorce, my ex asked me back 3 times and proposed to me to get re-married twice. I said no. I went back to him so many times and now I was done divorced and happy. He's now fluffy, bald, broke, and have two baby mamas. I'm glad I stuck to my guns.
Now let's quickly touch on self respect. There were times he would cuss and scream at me. It came to the where I looked at him and smiled and said: "You can cuss and scream and say whatever you like to be able to sleep at night. But you know what you did and why we are getting a divorce and you cannot control me with your words anymore." Trust me there were times I would throw my phone across the room after I hung up, but he didn't know that. After a while, he stopped verbalizing abusing me. He could not get me to loose control and then throw it in my face anymore. No more buttons he could push.
I hope this helps you get and remain emotionally and physically healthy!
Stay Fit! Stay Jazzy!